Notice that, while they are all dumb, the
truly idiotic ones, the totally clueless one's are always from AOL or WEB
TV users. (Prodigy comes in a distant 3rd):
I'm going to do something I've never done before. In keeping
with the "wild and free" style of the weekend edition, I want to
"read" y'all some mail from the mailbag that I receive at JAD.
Just to give y'all kind of an idea of what kind of folks they're
letting near computers nowadays:
Hugh with hotmail:
Stop sending me some jokes in english , I want french jokes,
I want joke in french
(Ray: I like things "French". French Fries, French Kissing,
Andy with hotmail:
Dear lyris I really would like it if you would send me the babe
a day thing for free. I have bad credit so I can't use my credit
card to order. If you decide to my adress is . . .
Nathan with WebTV:
hope u have a good day and hope u have a good time on the
web or the internit!! I just wanted to say you are the nicest
person in the whole world!!! Leave Me AloneOk
Nick with hotmail:
stop sending me these carppy jokes
(Ray: Ok, guys, hold the Carp to Nick. Start sending Cod!)
Looky with AOL:
i want to be off your list........if i am not taken off your list right
now i will report you to the AOL police
(Ray: I get ten versions of the "AOL Police" letter every
week. That and the "I'm gonna contact my lawyer" letters.
Funny, in all of the years I've been doing this, not one AOL
Keystone Kop or Shyster has shown up.)
Bob with skyinet:
Remember one of ten commandments... thou shall not use
the Lord thy God's name in vain.
(Ray: Goddamn. I screwed up again . . . )
Erin with earthlink:
At last...the equivelant of Jerry Springer in cyber-space.
Quickset with AOL:
YOU SUCK!!! STOP SENDING ME JOKES!!!! IM GOING TO
RIP YOUR HEAD OFF
(Ray: Always good to hear from you, Mom.)
Lwhite with AOL:
How can I contact a female friend who wrote to me a few
years ago from Whittier, CALIFORNIA. She lived there. I
know I did not throw out her letter (and address) but right
now I just don't have it handy. All I have is her name.
You tried that Psychic Friend's Network, by chance?)
Margaret with Prodigy:
please unsubscribe am selling computer and buying a new
(Ray: And you're afraid of . . . what? That your email
address would be different with a new computer?)
Kasi with Juno:
I have read some of the e-mails you have sent me and I
noticed that some of the jokes are volger so could you
please either stop sendinf\g them all together or don't be
sending the bad ones.
Angela with Prodigy:
REFUSED!!!!! I'M NOT AOL AND I HAVE CHILDREN THAT
DO NOT NEED TO SEE YOUR TYPE OF JOKES!!!! I'M
ALSO A CATHOLIC AND FIND YOUR JOKES AWFUL!!!
(Ray: Then explain to me why the Pope has a subscription.)
(And, my absolute favorite letter of all time):
Susie with AOL:
not all of us aol users are dum.
(Ray: You're right, Sus'. Some of y'all are ignert.)
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